Posted in Christian

Our Journey of Faith

A letter from an anonymous writer.


“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

We all go through trials in this life, Jesus promised us in John 16:33 that we would have difficulties in this world but He also promised us He has overcome the world and has given us peace and although its a struggle in the midst of these trials to trust in God’s plan and stay strong in our faith we can find peace in our savior!

For 4 years my husband and I suffered through infertility it was the hardest thing we have ever gone through and it brought us to our knees.  It was also the time of my life I felt the closest to the Lord when He brought me to a place of desperate need for Him and a desire for Him far beyond my desire for a child.  It was during this time I finally realized that He would be the only thing that would ever completely fulfill my heart. It was a long journey to get to that point and it didn’t come easy.

I will never forget the ups and downs, the hope and heartache every single month, anyone going through infertility knows the pain of this roller coaster far too well. Everywhere you go someone is pregnant, you see cute families, adorable kids, and those babies that seem to stare into your very soul.  The knife in your heart when family or friends tell you they are pregnant or you get yet another baby shower invitation.  And the “helpful” comments people make, among many my all time favorite….. “just relax it will happen”.  While they mean well it is so hard to hear over and over especially coming from people who have never been through infertility.

A year after trying to have a baby and being unsuccessful we underwent fertility tests and were told we would most likely not be able to have a child naturally.  I will never forget what that felt like we sat on the couch together and cried.  We mourned for the baby that would never be, we cried as our hopes of being parents and the dreams of everything we wanted to do with our child was crushed into a million pieces.  The years that followed were a blur of trying everything possible to “fix” the problem, of seeing specialist after specialist, trying a round of IVF and getting no where closer to making our dream come true.  I fell into a pit of darkness, I just couldn’t do it anymore I couldn’t read all these promises of God when in my opinion He didn’t care about my situation so how could they be true? How could I believe He cared when He wasn’t giving me my hearts desire, a desire that lined up with His word?  How could He let my coworker tell me her daughter was going to have her 3rd abortion knowing how desperately I wanted a baby?

The 3 months that followed were the darkest, worst months of my life and I thank God for my amazing husband who stood by me and prayed for me and never gave up on me!  One day God got my attention and I realized I had two choices, go through this with Jesus or without Him either way I was going to go through it.  I decided although I didn’t understand why this was happening I wasn’t going through it without my God!!  I asked Him for a friend who understood what I was going through because I felt like if I didn’t have 1 person who “got it” to talk to I would lose my mind!  God is so merciful and He brought me a friend who was suffering through the same thing and we actually went to the same fertility clinic!  It was so wonderful to have her to talk to and be encouraged in my faith and know she totally understood my pain.

We decided to go forward with more IFV, we didn’t really want to ( the process is awful) but we wanted a baby and were willing to do anything.  We prayed daily that if it wasn’t Gods will He would close the door and He did, the door was shut and closed tight and I was heart broken again.  When we got this news my husband looked at me and said “I think we should adopt.”  It wasn’t the first time he had mentioned it but I just wasn’t ready.  I wanted to be pregnant, to give birth, I wanted that experience and nothing else was the same to me.

That night I was talking to my friend and she said “have you considered adoption?” And I told her that my husband had mentioned it a couple times but I just wasn’t sure I wanted to do it.  She connected me with her friend who had adopted her daughter  a year before and I called her the next day.  I cannot explain what God did in my heart in the next few days but He brought me to a place of knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that THIS was what we were supposed to do, that this whole journey was leading us to this decision!  During those days I gave up my desires to the Lord and surrendered to His desires and His plan for my life and for the first time in years I was at peace.  My husband and I felt like a huge load was lifted off of our shoulders we were finally where we were meant to be.

The adoption story was another season of our journey and although it had its difficult moments, during the 11 months of waiting for our precious gift God drew me to Himself.  I felt a closeness with Him like never before, I heard His voice like never before, I felt His love wash over me with such a powerful force that it made me sob tears of joy, tears of unbelief how can He love me this much?!  I watched Him perform miracles, I saw Him move mountains, I saw His Grace and Mercy pour out over my life, I sat in her room weeks before her birth thanking Him that He never allowed me to get pregnant because THIS was my child and I loved her beyond words.  And then I held her and looked into the face of Gods grace and knew that His plan IS always perfect even though it may not feel like it or look like it to us, even though He may choose a different path for us than we would choose for ourselves His plan is absolutely BEST for our lives!  When I left the hospital with my precious gift from God I was so overwhelmed by His goodness and faithfulness that I prayed and asked Him to please let me share my story of what He had done in our lives with someone who needed it. Two days later we took her to her first doctor appointment and her nurse was a girl from my Bible study, I had never talked to her but I knew she was going through infertility because she had shared it and asked for prayer.  When I saw her I knew it was not an accident she was our nurse, she started asking us questions and God gave us the opportunity to share our story with her and her husband.  They went on to adopt their sweet baby girl!

I am so blessed and humbled that the Lord has allowed me to share our story and it is my hearts deepest desire that He uses our story to encourage others struggling through infertility or maybe another difficultly. He is there….. you are never alone and although you may not understand why it’s happening you can trust Him and lean on Him and believe His words.  “Weeping may last for the night but a shout of JOY comes in the morning” Psalms 30:5.

There is a verse I always clung to and I hope it encourages all the mommies-to-be who read this…. “He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!” Psalms 113:9

It’s not “if” you will be a mother but “when”!  Believe that and keep seeking His will one day you will share your journey with your children and tell them about the faithfulness of our God!

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13

“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalms‬ ‭27:13-14‬ ‭

Posted in Christian

He has Overcome the Darkness

October 28, 2017

There is something about that first crisp, cold day in the middle of Fall that makes my heart fill with joy. I’m talking about that first day where you wish you were 12 again because every bone in your body aches. We had a couple of those this past week and let me tell you, I had my Christmas music up and wanted to go buy a Christmas tree! It’s October! I find every year I tell my husband I want a tree in October. I love fall but I love Jesus Birthday y’all!

Something about those early reminders makes me want to fill my home with His love and shout it on the roof tops that our Savior has come and let’s celebrate Jesus Birthday!

Halloween will be here in just a few days and my husband and I aren’t big fans of this particular holiday. We love candy, caramel apples, pumpkin patches and all things Fall, especially the fellowship we have with all the Fall Festivals going on. But when those skeletons and witches start appearing in stores we are reminded that there is so much darkness in the world.

I don’t know about you but this feeling comes every year and also in many seasons of my life. We see hope, joy, peace, love yet there is also a darkness that surrounds.

We see joy as Christmas decorations and music fill our homes. Then we go out the week before Christmas or better yet, Black Friday and see how materialistic and selfish our hearts truly can be.

So, for some the joy fades, the songs and decorations are taken down, even the next day.

What a representation of our hearts and the very spiritual warfare every day. Whether we recognize it or not, it’s there.

In Ephesians 6:12 Paul reminds us, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

The very day my husband and I celebrated with family that we would have a baby girl we mourned with friends and church family over their son, who was addicted to drugs, committing suicide.

I have friends running from God, family members addicted to drugs, and the list could go on.

When we are faced with these trials ever before us especially when it’s in our immediate family, we see just how real the darkness is.

When faced with this darkness, I can become angry or sorrowful. You know when you want to just get a good hold of that cousin on drugs and wake them up. Tell them until your blue in the face, Jesus loves them! Or when you see a friend selfishly, seemingly prosper in their life and you wonder how they make it without the Lord.

In Psalm 37 David reminds us not to fret over evil doers and when I read this Psalm from a “man after God’s own heart” I’m comforted in knowing I’m not the only one that can get upset when seemingly the wicked prosper or when drugs overtake a man.

 “Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.

For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.

Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.

10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.

11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.”

My main focus of this blog post today is how important it is that we do not fret over the darkness we face in our lives. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we commit our ways to Him and we have HOPE. We can look out at a dark world and see light!

We are the light of the world!

Matthew 5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

I was listening to a song the other day called “When I think about Christmas” by Hillsong and in this song she sings, “Now the darkest of ages are done because the hope of our Savior has come”

When I heard this line, a complete peace filled my entire soul, oh, the reminder that I needed to hear and ring true, the darkest of ages are done!!

Praise the Lord!

Our Savior is here! He has won. He has conquered sin and death! WE HAVE HOPE!

Let me remind you of what David does inspire us to do in Psalm 37,

Fret not.

Do not be envious.

Trust in the Lord and do good.

Delight yourself in the Lord.

Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him.

REST in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

Fret not.

Cease from anger and forsake wrath.


Depart from evil and do good.

Wait on the Lord and keep on His way.

Everything David writes in this chapter leads us to the Lord. Never once does David say, “look at this dark world and walk with our heads low.” No, he focused on our Savior. Oh, may our hands be lifted ever so high and we fall to our knees more than ever when we are faced with darkness!

In verse 17, “The Lord upholdeth the righteous.”

Verse 40, “and the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.”

I challenge you to let the Joy of Christmas fill your heart every day. That Joy is a Savior Who died for you. He was born so you could have life. We no longer have to live in fear, worry or be discouraged by the darkness that surrounds us. We now can live with peace, love and joy and share this love with the world! He has OVERCOME the darkness.

Spend time in His presence today, know “…in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” Romans 8:37

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11

Posted in Christian

An Update on our Family and Ministry

October 3, 2017

Hey everyone! I want to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about you over here and I hope you haven’t forgotten about this blog.

My desire is still to encourage you in the Word here and my prayer is that you always seek the Lord and His guidance.

We all know how distracting social media can be. The comparison can steal our joy/passion if we are not careful.

My friend and I talked on how the Bible says we must guard our hearts! “It is the wellspring of life!”

My friend reminded me that these passed couple of months have been an effort to guard my heart. My family and I have been facing some serious spiritual battles this way and I needed some extra me and Jesus time so I took a total break from social media.

The battle is strong, but we have to fight! I know Who holds the victory and I praise God, through Jesus we can overcome sin and death!

Also, we have had much heartache within our family. Through it all, God has been doing some great things this way and I cannot wait to share.

In August my uncle passed away and my grandpa hasn’t been in good health. My husband and I are not far from 30 years old and we are starting to truly see just how precious our family is to us. Every one of our grandparents has had some type of physical ail that has brought us to our knees this year. We know many that do not know the Lord and it breaks our hearts.

I praise the Lord we can come to Him. He is our Healer and Strength!

The same day we mourned with a family in our church over the loss of their son-in-law and children in our youth, their Father, we found out we are having a baby girl. Oh God, you give and take away. Our hearts are filled with joy for another blessing in our lives and our hearts are heavy for those who have lost loved ones.

Please be in prayer for our families and this family in our church.

Where there is sorrow there is also joy. We finished recording our first EP this past week, as husband and wife! I cannot wait for this cd to come out. My husband, with the help of some amazing friends, has wrote some beautiful worship songs.

Our desire is to help support our missionary friend, Jimmy Mercado in the Philippines so he will in time, have enough money to purchase the land he needs to build a church there.

Please pray for him in this endeavor. I will be sharing more regarding his ministry and how you can purchase a cd before long so keep a look out!

Another update, our house will be on the market the end of this month. So we need your prayers there as well, that God would show us the next step. He always provides and we know He will show us the way.

God showed us some chains we needed to let go of to draw closer to Him. We have said “God, where ever you call us, we’ll go!”

Points of prayer: we have family in desperate need of our Savior, heartbroken, and dealing with physical illness, we are parenting two young boys while I’m expecting a girl, working on/selling our home, and recorded a cd.

Our hearts are ablaze right now because we see His hand at work through all of this!

Thank you to all those who continue to encourage, pray and support us in service to our King. It truly does take a village!

Please post in the comments how we can pray for you!

Posted in Christian

A Letter to Precious You 

That day you were all I could think about. God has such a plan for you. I woke up that Monday morning with a feeling that I had to know if this was real. Your Daddy and I planned to wait until Tuesday when his project at work was finished, I think we already knew. 

I took your brothers to the store. Landon and Ezra could not wait to get treats and check out the cars. As I checked out, I thought about going home and knowing that first sign that your arrival would be in the next year. Oh, how my heart sunk. What a blessing. God, thank you for your blessings on us. 
On my way home thoughts of joy and thoughts of fear came over me. As the boys drift off to sleep, I sing, “You are faithful, God You are faithful.”

We get home and I couldn’t wait any longer. I pray, “God, may Your will be done. Whatever Your will is, is what’s best.” Chills. All over. The Holy Spirit reminded me of the scriptures I wrote down just days before. “Do not be afraid. And do not be anxious.” 

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7  

“This is why You showed me so clearly that I am to live a fearless life!” Wow, thank you God for Your Word.

 I pray again, “Your will Lord, Your way. Give me the strength that only comes from you.”

There it is, two pink lines. My heart sunk. I feel joy, I feel fear…. “God, with you I have nothing to fear.” I go to our bedroom and fall to my knees. “God, please help me. Please help me. I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to fear because I know you are near.”  In Isaiah 41:10 he tells us, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

 I cry tears of joy and still shocked. Your Daddy and I knew that I was craving Cookout chicken nuggets and Barq’s rootbeer for a reason. Haha And Mommy has been so tired. 

  But then ever so faithful and true… I’m covered by thoughts and feelings of

His peace, 

His love.

 “Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” John 14:27

I can feel you near God. I know You are there.
His love sings over me. Tremendous peace. Praise His Holy Name!


“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

I’m in awe of the peace He gives us. He is always with us. 

I go and look at the pregnancy test again on the sink. In our bathroom we have hung on the wall, Psalm 46, I begin to pray this out loud;

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.” 

So, here is the start of our adventure together, my precious baby! You are my third baby! I’d have to say, you are quite the surprise. I cannot wait to meet you, hold you and tell you all about Jesus. I know your brothers will adore you and I cannot wait for them to meet you either. 

Your Daddy was surprised and overjoyed to hear about you. He said, “God has blessed us so much. He is going to take care of us.”

God designs everything for a purpose. Don’t ever forget you are beautifully and wonderfully made. We are all loved by Him.
Only by His strength, 
Your Mama 


Posted in Uncategorized

Fearless Women Who Love 

Lately I’ve had a song in my head, “Fearless” by Jasmine Murray. As my Google Play album comes on the screen and I see Jasmine’s “fearless” pixie cut, I begin singing “fearless, I, I want to be!”

Throughout my day I belt it out- there’s strength in praising the Lord. When I feel my weakest I’ve found true praises come from my soul.

The definition of fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Yeah girl, I was thinking, I have those feelings too.

Just like the song says, “no holding back, no not anymore…” This. This is when freedom comes into our lives.

Psalm 121:2 says, “My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”

I’m a Mom of two young boys. My oldest is 3 and my youngest is 15 months old. So daily help is what comes to mind often in my life.
Most days I find the enemy whispers lies trying to destroy me. “If they loved you, they’d help you. Why are you trying to so much, you will never be good enough. She/He is going to hurt you again so don’t even try getting closer to them.”

Wow, those thoughts are not from my God, who loves me!!

When these thoughts come to our mind and might I add, they are crippling thoughts of fear, we MUST pray! “May Your voice be louder than the worries in my life.”
All through Psalm 136 we find “His steadfast love endures forever.”

“Give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for his steadfast love endures forever;” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭136:2-3‬

Nearly five months ago I was blindsided with hurt by someone who I love and care for. The rejection felt like stabbing at my heart. These scriptures gave me comfort. HIS STEADFAST LOVE ENDURES FOREVER. He will never leave us! He is always near.

His word teaches us to “love others as you love yourself” (Mark 12:30-31) “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who persecute you.” (Luke 6:28) He doesn’t tell us that we must sit around waiting to see what others can do for us!

He calls us deeper. He calls us to deny ourselves. (Luke 9:23) As the apostle Paul wrote, we must give up our lives for the cause of Christ! (Ephesians 3)

So how to we start living as fearless women who love?

First, we do need His help and we must PRAISE OUR CREATOR! Psalm 28:7 “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.” Let’s let go of the to-do lists that we set up before we seek His face.

Secondly, must wake up every day warding off the thoughts of the enemy  “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7 God please give me strength to live holy devoted to you. 

Thirdly, put on the armor of the Lord! (Ephesians 6:10) Remember this battle is the Lords. He will fight for you. Let go and let God take control.

Fourth, we pray and cry out to Him, yes even before you drink your coffee; cause truth is He satisfies every longing. (Psalm 107:9)

Fifth, we read His word for direction and guidance. Remember, we need help!! He is our help! “Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105 Oh, how I need Him to guide my every step.

And last, we must love God and love others! (Mark 12:30-31)

May we know the love of God deeper than ever before and let His light shine through us! When we truly love God and others there is growth!

In John Piper’s article titled “Fearless Women in a World of Opportunities” he challenges women to “be devoted to the glory of God and that the promises of Christ be trusted. Be women of prayer…” I encourage you to read his challenge to us ladies.

I found 33 verses to help us remember we should not fear but I’m going to only list a few here (I believe that will be another blog in itself.) I encourage you to dig into the word along with me.

2 Timothy 1:7 “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”;

1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”;

Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 56:3, Phil 4:6-7; John 14:27, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 27:1, Psalm 118:6-7.

Dear women of God may you fear Him and live fearless- proclaiming His goodness and love to the world. I’m praying that our hearts will be on fire for His kingdom!

To the woman reading who does not know this God of peace, who takes all our fears away… I pray your soul is consumed by His love and power and that you come to the saving knowledge of His grace. He came to give us life!! (John 10:10)


Live Loved,